Tag Archives: change

WoW – Reclaim Your Body: Follow Elaine Morales from Cellar to Stage

Like so many work-at-home Moms, Elaine took care of her business, her husband, her kids – but not herself. She loved everything about her life except how she felt and what she saw when she looked in the mirror. The effects of spending hours in sloppy sweats in her basement office led to “this kind of malaise … dealing with it with this long term emotional overeating and kind of closet eating sugar addiction that led me to not be happy with my body and to have tremendous moods and GI problems.”

She knew she had to change, “And so, I attacked it by buckling down with nutrition and an exercise program and deciding to make that part of my life and just getting it done.”

Now, don’t get the idea that Elaine was a natural athlete who had just temporarily stepped away from the gym. No – she had flunked gym in high school. But she was determined. And, in the process, she made an interesting discovery.

As she tells it,
“I got stronger in the gym and I started to really have the chance to get to know myself again. And to see myself in a new way and to gain an inner strength and really get to know myself. And, suddenly, it occurred to me, this is not just about my muffin top. This is about connecting to who I am, what are my values, how do I live out my values I all areas of my life and how do I challenge myself to go beyond my limits? And I – and also in taking care of myself – getting stronger and getting healthier with good nutrition – I felt like a gazillion bucks and all kinds of health problems I had cleared up. My mood improved – all kinds of wonderful, wonderful side effects, and I just thought, if I could bottle this up and sell it, I’d be a gazillionaire.”

Well, Elaine didn’t figure out how to bottle her results, but she has learned how to share them. She received my training as a Health Coach from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition’s cutting-edge Health Coach Training Program and studied dietary theories, practical lifestyle management techniques, and innovative coaching methods with some of the world’s top health and wellness experts, including Dr. Andrew Weil, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Dr. David Katz, Director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center, Dr. Walter Willett, Chair of Nutrition at Harvard University, and Geneen Roth, bestselling author and expert on emotional eating.

Oh – and along the way, Elaine became a competitive body builder. As she describes it, “I was really enjoying the changes in my body and I felt so empowered in the gym and by getting stronger. And one of my mentors said, did you ever think of competing? I loved the training. The hardest part for me was going from sweats in the basement, no makeup, married for almost 20 years, and putting myself out in public in essentially a crystal bikini, five inch stiletto heels, and drag queen makeup – getting up there on stage with barely any clothes on. That was just – that was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone.”

Elaine won’t ask you to get into full competition get-up; she will help you come to terms with your relationship with food. You can find out about her individual coaching and workshops here. You can also read more about Elaine on Motherfitness.com and Healthyblenderrecipes.com.

Why is Elaine the Woman of the Week? Because she understands that fitness and wellness begin in the mind. Because she was so excited about her self-discovery that she knew she was called to share it. And, finally, because she got the training and did the research to be of service to her clients. She knows that everything she suggests works and she can tell you exactly why!

Butterflies, Joy and Change

I’ve seen a few Monarchs floating through Brooklyn this week. If you’re lucky enough to live on the New Jersey shore, you’re likely to see many more flitting by around now. They’re beautiful and I always hold my breath for a second as I watch them.

I’m in the process of emerging from my own chrysalis right now, so I have a lot to learn from butterflies. And they’ve been following me around lately, just to remind me! The lesson of the butterfly, it turns out, is letting go of old behavior and moving on to the next phase.

Moving on is not easy – at least for me. I like to dig in and hold on. I remember reading that for every successful woman you could see the fingernail scratches on the furniture where she’d tried to hang on to the old, and I know that’s true for me. Change doesn’t come easy.

But then I look at how beautiful the butterfly is. Maybe change is worth it. Butterflies float on the breeze; they dance in the air. They don’t cling to the branches or hug the ground. Butterflies always look like they’re having a good time. Can you watch one without smiling? They bring joy. They are joy.

I’m almost ready for my butterfly moment. I’m ready to push out of the shelter of that chrysalis, where I’ve been growing and stretching and absorbing energy over many months. I’ve moved out of a toxic business relationship. I’ve returned to full mobility, thanks to the wonders of hip replacement. I’m ditching my old business model.

Right now, my wings aren’t quite dry and I’m a bit shaky, but I know that is changing. I can’t wait to see what’s next!

Move On!

How often do you make a decision and then second-guess yourself? Some of us over think everything. We make a decision, we’re comfortable with it, we take action. Should be the end of the story, right? Not for everyone.

Sometimes, though, it’s easy to get caught up in the other choices – the road not taken. What if? What if? What if?

It’s time to chase those gremlins off. Here are some questions that might be more productive:

1.What would have stayed the same or gotten worse if I did not make the choice I did? How would I feel about that?

2. How would I feel if I continued along the same path? About myself? Abut other people? About my work?

3. What did I learn from this choice? About myself? My process? Others involved?

4. How will I use what I learned moving forward?

5. What have I gained?

These seem like a good start at letting go and moving on. I’ll be using them myself.

Free Fall and Progress Paralysis

How many times have you heard variations on the saying that when you reach the end of all you know you will develop wings and fly? Yeah, but there’s still that first step. And that can be a doozy! And positively paralyzing.

Sitting in the corner with a box of chocolates seems sooooo tempting! So many reality shows, so little time. This might be a good time to move up the scale a bit. Perhaps, the next step is something I call meaningless productivity. You might call it busy work.

Keep the chocolates. Don’t even turn off the television. Above all, don’t think. Sort, declutter, clean. The first sort is simply to get rid of junk. Life is easier when you are not surrounded by piles-o-stuff. As you open up living space, you are also opening up space to think.

Do you feel your muscles getting ready to move? Not quite yet? Maybe you need to wallow a little more. When you start noticing that you’re watching reruns of reality shows you saw last week, it’s time to step up your game.

Go slow! This is rehab. Go for a walk. Cook yourself a good meal. Allow your mind to wander through all the things you might possibly do next. You can still spend a lot of time on the couch, but maybe it’s time to trade up to PBS or political satire shows. You should still sort, but this round will be a work-related sort. Where are all of those projects you have started? Where are all of those idea files that you have been keeping for years? Find them now!

Sort your ideas and projects into three piles. The first pile is, “What was I thinking?” the second pile is,”Not so much.” The third pile has you starting to bounce in your chair just a bit. You actually think you might want to do something. You are beginning to see a future.

If you watch a cat in free fall, it seems paralyzed for the first few seconds. It does nothing. Then,it does a seemingly miraculous mid-stream correction. It lands beautifully on all four paws. You can do it too! You are ready to land with both feet planted firmly on the ground. You are ready to go on to the next phase of your life!

Ready to Redesign Your Life?

Yes, that’s a blueprint. In all the years that I’ve been coaching, my work seems to come back to one thing. I’m incredibly good at helping people figure out a life plan and then figure out how to implement it. Over time, I’ve talked about mapping, organizing, implementing goals – many names, same theme.

Here’s the thing – if you don’t know where you’ve going, you’re liable to end up somewhere else. And, sometimes, you just can’t figure out where you’re going. You need someone who can see things from a different perspective. You need someone who is good at puzzles. And synthesis. And invention. Who can think – if not bigger than you – differently than you.

That’s what I love to do. And I do it well. So, I’m taking a minute to brag about my two new Life Design Blueprint programs. The details are here: Blueprint Coaching In November, I’ll be holding free preview classes. You can sign up here if you’d like to stop by and kick the tires.

2012 is coming. Do you know where your future is?

Occupy Wall Street, Symphony Space and the Beat Goes On

Pete Seeger is no stranger to protest, and neither is his grandson, Tao, nor Arlo Guthrie, nor Toshi Reagon, nor any of the other artists at the Power of Song Award Concert.

Here are a few pictures from October 21, 2011, a day that started with catching the Columbia University Marching Band at Zucotti Park and ended with marching to Columbus Circle with many of those who were at the concert.

Blazing a Trail in Leadership and Life Part 5

From WikiHow:

4. Cut down or flatten all trees and bushes to make the path. Leave some plants growing at the entrances if you want to make it a hidden trail.
5. Clean up the dead bushes. Remove and rocks that could trip people.

This is where you make your trail attractive to whomever might follow it. You’ve done all your research. You know the environment. You know what will and will not work in this space. You know your desired endpoint and you are prepared for every obstacle. The path is wide enough to accommodate those who will use it.

Change, like a new trail, should be attractive to those who choose it. The foliage needs to be out of the way in the main part of the trail, but you may want to surround your trail with attractive shrubs or even flowers. The view along the way might serve as an incentive.

In the workplace, a change – a new trail – is most successful if it appears to be attractive. If all anyone can see are obstacles or if the path is full of dead branches or rocks, it’s likely that many will turn away.

Similarly, in life, if the trail seems to rough many of us just won’t try. Are you ready to climb a mountain or are you looking for a lovely walk in the park? Is your weight loss plan several months at The Biggest Loser boot camp or cutting carbs and adding yoga classes? Create a path that is attractive to you.

Blazing a Trail in Life and Leadership Part 4

From WikiHow:

3. Plan the direction of the trail. Check to see if any unmovable obstacles, such as fences, boulders, large trees, or streams will disrupt things.

Where are you going? The Cheshire Cat said, “If you don’t care where you’re going, any path will get you there.” As you plan for change in your business or in your life, it just makes sense to think about the direction as you begin to blaze the trail.

This relates to the environmental scan. Know what is going on in your organization or in your own life. Know who supports you; know whose support you will need to enlist; know who might be an obstacle. If you know the obstacles, you can plan how to remove them or work around them.

Are there objects you simply can’t get around? When I assess my own life, I find a number of immovable objects. Some, I can navigate around; others cause me to reconsider my path. I’m just not built for runway modeling. The obstacles are not ones that I can realistically overcome, so it’s a good thing that this isn’t my chosen path. I want to be able to coach disenfranchised women who can’t afford – and may not even know about – coaching. I can build any number of paths around this rock or use leverage like independent funding to get around this and continue on this path.

In organizations, I often coach managers who want to get financial rewards for their staff. In hard times and in the face of bureaucratic restrictions, this might seem like an enormous wall. Further inspection might suggest alternate paths, like reclassifying the job, that will achieve the goal. Where will you simply ford a stream? Where will you build a bridge?

How can your plan be disrupted? Are there negative people who seem to be obstacles? Regulations? Unions? Force of tradition (we’ve always done it this way)? Plan your direction. Assess the landscape. Identify the obstacles and make a plan to deal with each of them to blaze a successful trail.

Blazing a Trail in Leadership and Life Part 3

From WikiHow:

Plan the width of the trail.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What, specifically, are you trying to carve out?

Perhaps you are choosing a personal trail – making a change in your own life. Your trail will probably be narrow. If you are blazing this trail in an organization it will be wider. How wide? Are you leading a small unit or are you creating broader organizational change? Are you hoping for a few early adopters or do you need total buy-in? Will you need to create a trail that can be widened as more people follow the new path?

Will your trail be direct or meandering? Will it be quick and dirty or planned and beautifully executed? WikiHow does not address this. Still, it figures into your decision on how you will blaze your trail. A direct path might suggest the straightest, shortest path – no frills, not necessarily neat and tidy. This may be driven by a sense of urgency or immediacy. Leaders must sometimes forge ahead, cut through the underbrush and get somewhere quickly. As more people adopt the change, there will be opportunities to tidy up the borders or pave the trail. There’s a place for this sort of “ready, fire, aim!” sort of trailblazing.

Some trails are blazed after considerable planning and preparation. In your personal life this might be a career change or moving into a committed relationship or parenting. These trails may involve much more planning. They may be meandering, taking the scenery (your surroundings, preferences, lifestyle) into account. These trails may be more beautiful, well paved, free of any potential hazards. What do you want to consider as you initiate major life changes?

As a leader in an organization, you will also do a lot of planning for major changes. Will you blaze this trail all at once or in incremental stages? Will you pave the trail to make the transition as easy as possible? Will you offer rest stops and enticements along the way to facilitate movement along the new trail?

What will your trail look like?

Blazing a Trail in Leadership and Life Part 2

From WikiHow:
1. Assess the density and type of foliage the area has growing and equip yourself with the stuff from the “Things You’ll Need” accordingly.

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The first thing that it makes sense to do before initiating any change (blazing a trail) – whether in your business or yourself – is to do an environmental scan. That means looking at the situation from every angle to determine what exists and analyzing the current situation in terms of your desired outcome. I this step, you are dealing with the broad issue o wanting a change. In a later step, you will have the opportunity to get specific about the change.

These questions can be asked What’s going on in your life or workplace? Too much? Dense foliage. Not enough? Sparse. These answers relate to the degree of change desired as well as the challenges inherent. If you or the organization are reluctant to change, you have a dense foliage situation and can expect that the process will take some time. If you are an early adopter, the foliage is sparse and initiating change will be easy. When facing sparse foliage, though, you may want to take the extra step to be sure that this is really where you want a new trail. Is this a desirable, supportable change or are you changing for the sake of change?

Will you be dealing with tall weeds and grasses or thorny bushes and trees? Before initiating a change it will be useful to know the degree of difficulty. And the tools required. Trees and thorny bushes will require heavier tools and thick gloves. Don’t be fooled by the tall grass, though. As in the wild, in life there can be surprises in the tall grass. Know that you may be brought up short as you blaze this trail and be prepared with an array of tools – coaching, communication skills, research skills – to move forward.

What types of things keep increasing in your life or organization? Decreasing? Are these the things you want? What activities are you involved in? Are these the ones you want? These questions relate to the nature of the trail you will blaze and the ultimate destination.

Look to the future. What are the benefits of this trail? How will the change serve you or your organization? You’ll want this information when we move on to determining the size of the trail.