Tag Archives: action

After the Storm

I’m safe. I have electricity and water and phone service. I’m very grateful for this. And I sit here shocked at this storm that has hit the New York area.

I watch in the same disbelief that held me transfixed during Katrina. This time, though, it is my neighbors who are fleeing to shelters. Areas that are part of my childhood are gone. The restaurants where I lunch when I’m working in lower Manhattan may never reopen. Subway stations won’t be open for a while.

I think of friends still recovering from the storm that hit upstate New York and Vermont last year who have barely recovered. And the ones who may never recover.

And I think again about Katrina.

And the New Orleans that was.

Reports are mixed. I am heartened to hear of people helping each other – handing out food, helping people to safety, posting and tweeting their support. I am saddened to hear of people just walking on by. What I really wonder, though, is what people will be doing next week. Will we still be reaching out to our neighbors? Will we help with the clean-up? Or will we turn away?

The storm is over. The hard work has barely begun. I hope that we’re up to it.

Living the Good Life Debt Free

There’s a lot of excellent advise available about how to live debt free. And most of it just sounds painful. Now, I’m all for having no debts and am working on it as hard as I can – not there yet, but will be. The problem is, most of what you read makes it sound like you’ll need to give up anything that is remotely fun and live on bread and water. Maybe just water.

Over the past few months, I’ve been reminded that it just isn’t so. As I continue to whip out my debit card instead of my credit card, I smile gleefully at the thought of the inters I’m saving. I’ve cut back a little – but not a lot – on taking myself out, buying myself toys, traveling, and, in general, enjoying life. I’ve upped the payments on my credit cards for more than a year now and love seeing the balances slide ever closer to zero. As I said, I’m getting there.

This week, though, I had the opportunity to see what it looks like to be there. I’m visiting family in Georgia, and my niece and her husband completed this journey a while ago. Except for having a mortgage, they are debt free. And they are living a life that anyone could be proud of. The two of them and three dogs share a fairly small yet very nicely appointed and spacious enough home. They both are great cooks – he smokes meat a mean piece of beef and she is great at everything else – and no strangers to gourmet stores and local farmers. (A little Valharon molten chocolate cake to top off that dinner?)

We spent an afternoon being chauffeured around by her in a spacious rental car as we visited a couple of local vineyards and discussing her plans for the future, which include a week in Italy and in the next few years buying a new house with enough property to raise animals. A very nice life.

So, as I sit here typing on my new MacBook Air, purchased with a credit card, yes, and then paid off two hours later, I contemplate my own debt free future. It’s nice to know that I’ll get there. And nicer to know that the path I’ve chosen is a sound one – room for fun, good food, adventures and still dwindling balances.

The Shining Hope Community is Changing the World – One Community at a Time

When I first met Jessica Posner, two years ago, and heard about Shining Hope for Communities, I was amazed by what the organization was accomplishing in Kibera, the biggest and worst slum in Nairobi, Kenya. I was even more amazed that this work was being done by 20-something Jessica Posner and Kennedy Odede. Working together, they fulfilled Kennedy’s dream of creating a school for girls.

Fast forward two short years. Kennedy has graduated from Wesleyan University. He and Jessica have married. The first tuition-free school for girls is just one project provided by this organization that provides a wide range of services to the Kibera community, including the Johanna Justin-Jinich Community Clinic, the Shining Hope Community Center that provides women’s empowerment programs, youth programs, adult education and job training, and library – and more. They have also created a toilet access program, a clean water program and gardens.

Shining Hope is saving lives. Jessica and Kennedy have created a sustainable model for helping people at a local level in ways that work for their community. In 2010, Jessica was named America’s Top World-Changer 25 and Under.

Jessica and Kennedy Odede are amazing people – modest and driven to change the world one community at a time. Can you imagine where they will be ten years from now? How this model will grow and spread to other slums? How many lives are not only saved but expanded through their work?

I told Jessica that I want to be her when I grow up. I can’t go back to change the course of my 20-something self, but I can spread the word about Shining Hope. And I can contribute to their work. Here’s a link if you would like to contribute too.

WoW – Reclaim Your Body: Follow Elaine Morales from Cellar to Stage

Like so many work-at-home Moms, Elaine took care of her business, her husband, her kids – but not herself. She loved everything about her life except how she felt and what she saw when she looked in the mirror. The effects of spending hours in sloppy sweats in her basement office led to “this kind of malaise … dealing with it with this long term emotional overeating and kind of closet eating sugar addiction that led me to not be happy with my body and to have tremendous moods and GI problems.”

She knew she had to change, “And so, I attacked it by buckling down with nutrition and an exercise program and deciding to make that part of my life and just getting it done.”

Now, don’t get the idea that Elaine was a natural athlete who had just temporarily stepped away from the gym. No – she had flunked gym in high school. But she was determined. And, in the process, she made an interesting discovery.

As she tells it,
“I got stronger in the gym and I started to really have the chance to get to know myself again. And to see myself in a new way and to gain an inner strength and really get to know myself. And, suddenly, it occurred to me, this is not just about my muffin top. This is about connecting to who I am, what are my values, how do I live out my values I all areas of my life and how do I challenge myself to go beyond my limits? And I – and also in taking care of myself – getting stronger and getting healthier with good nutrition – I felt like a gazillion bucks and all kinds of health problems I had cleared up. My mood improved – all kinds of wonderful, wonderful side effects, and I just thought, if I could bottle this up and sell it, I’d be a gazillionaire.”

Well, Elaine didn’t figure out how to bottle her results, but she has learned how to share them. She received my training as a Health Coach from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition’s cutting-edge Health Coach Training Program and studied dietary theories, practical lifestyle management techniques, and innovative coaching methods with some of the world’s top health and wellness experts, including Dr. Andrew Weil, Dr. Deepak Chopra, Dr. David Katz, Director of Yale University’s Prevention Research Center, Dr. Walter Willett, Chair of Nutrition at Harvard University, and Geneen Roth, bestselling author and expert on emotional eating.

Oh – and along the way, Elaine became a competitive body builder. As she describes it, “I was really enjoying the changes in my body and I felt so empowered in the gym and by getting stronger. And one of my mentors said, did you ever think of competing? I loved the training. The hardest part for me was going from sweats in the basement, no makeup, married for almost 20 years, and putting myself out in public in essentially a crystal bikini, five inch stiletto heels, and drag queen makeup – getting up there on stage with barely any clothes on. That was just – that was TOTALLY out of my comfort zone.”

Elaine won’t ask you to get into full competition get-up; she will help you come to terms with your relationship with food. You can find out about her individual coaching and workshops here. You can also read more about Elaine on Motherfitness.com and Healthyblenderrecipes.com.

Why is Elaine the Woman of the Week? Because she understands that fitness and wellness begin in the mind. Because she was so excited about her self-discovery that she knew she was called to share it. And, finally, because she got the training and did the research to be of service to her clients. She knows that everything she suggests works and she can tell you exactly why!

Trying Serendipity

I love it when things just appear exactly when I need them, don’t you? This has been a week of serendipitous happenings – from perfect people showing up to something as simple as the perfect tomato. I’m just dancing!

On Saturday, I called a friend to check on the date of a street fair that turns out to be next week. There was another fair that Saturday, though, and my friend had an unexpected empty space in her normally packed schedule, so we were able to spend a beautiful afternoon together. The weather conspired in our favor and it was one of those perfect, cool, breezy September days. We had a wonderful stroll, admired many beautiful things and managed to buy none of them.

We needed coffee, though, and on the way discovered a new store, where I found the perfect dress for an upcoming event. And, on a side trip to check on a second dress (that turned out to be wrong for me), I discovered the perfect shoes to go with the dress.

The day before, a quick trip to the Greenmarket yielded some perfect tomatoes and a bargain – delicious – lunch at a new pizza place.

Sunday, completing the last of the seasonal closet switch-over led to the discovery of my long-lost silk thermals and a favorite shirt I thought was long gone.

A brief check-in to plan a meeting this morning led to the discovery of a perfect interview for my book project, an invitation to join a group, and this week’s Woman of the Week.

The more good things come along, the happier I’m feeling. And the happier I’m feeling, the more good things appear. It feels like magic, but it isn’t really. If you’re looking for the good, you’ll see the good. If you come to expect wonderful surprises, well, there they are.

There will be gloomy days, rainy days, frustrating days, overwhelmed days, I’m sure. And it will be tempting to wallow and look for the negative. And see the negative. And expect the negative.

And on those days, I’m trying serendipity.

Woman of the Week – Gloria’s Post-50 Tweak

When we met, Gloria was a 56 year old paraprofessional in the New York City public schools. She was the mother of three, active in church and community activities and was completing her Associates degree. I was her professor and interviewed her for a course I was taking. This is her story.

Gloria’s early childhood was divided between time with her mother in Harlem and an aunt in the South. She was independent and a bit rebellious and describes having run away from her mother’s home. She saw herself as not ready for marriage at 18:

I was never going to get married. Yup. I had this young man … we were supposed to get married, but I wasn’t ready. I ran away.

At 34, Gloria met her former fiance at a dance and agrees to marry him:

And I says to him, you know, I’m very sorry I ran away from you before. He says, “You’re not getting away from me this time.” And he was right.

And then I kind of felt like I’d been done an injustice, because we lived in Manhattan and I was going back to work and I’ commute … and he says to me we’re going to get a home … never dreaming he’s take me to hell and gone to Brooklyn! I was VERY unhappy ’cause I couldn’t go back to work.

Gloria enjoyed her children’s company, but wants to be back at work as well.

I’m very appreciative of the fact that I stayed home. Mothers don’t realize what they miss – the first walk, the first sound … I can’t say that my children were the happiest moment because with – I was so sick with Wendy and I didn’t even know it and with the boys (unexpected twins) I just couldn’t believe it. I wouldn’t call that happiness, yet they’ve BROUGHT me happiness.
My … job was domestic engineer. What a drag! The cooking and the cleaning and the diapers and … oooh! I couldn’t WAIT to get back to work!

Despite her husband’s objections, she returned to work as a substitute paraprofessional:

I had to con him into letting me do that. As long as I was the old “mummy” around the house, it was fine. He complains to the children, “Mother’s always on the go.” but he never once stopped me … and I do want to have some time alone with him. Maybe we can do a little sparking … I wish it could have been different with him.

She felt that his use of “mummy” was deliberate – he liked to keep her all wrapped up. Gloria clearly was always a strong woman. her juggling multiple roles in the 50’s and 60’s was not the norm. Her return to school in her 50’s was a bold step.

But Gloria, as a result of a course that involved looking at career alternatives, took it a step further. She became involved in politics.

They decided I should run for the Area Policy Board. Joe (a professor) tried to warn me. Joe said “You’re going to have to wear many hats.” I said, “Joe, I will never wear but one hat.” It became a class lesson. He said, “If you want something for your people over here, you’re going to have to give something over there.” And I told him NO! I wasn’t going to be that kind of politician.

At the time of the interview, Paras were being phased out of the schools, but Gloria was clear she would continue to work.

Like I say, I’m 56, and I really don’t know which road I’m taking now … but I know I want to be with people … I know I see me helping – I want to reach people.

The last time I heard from Gloria, she had decided to use her people skills in the political arena. She moved on from Area Policy Board to a seat in the State Assembly by the time she was 60.

Why is Gloria my woman of the week? Because all these years later I remember her feistiness and her great compassion. Because she never let anything get in her way. Because she understood how many different ways she could use her strengths. And because she went for what she loved.

Could you be the next woman of the week? Do you know someone who should be featured? Leave a comment!

September Rush and the To-Do Mobile

Everyone seems to be posting, tweeting, facebooking about getting back to work now that the Labor Day weekend has ended. Me too. The weather is not quite cooperating with this burst of energy, as it’s hazy, hot and humid when it’s not actually raining for the next three days, but, with some subtle climate control, I can make it feel like Fall in my living room and settle down to work.

The biggest problem I’ll have for the next few days is deciding what do to first. Here’s the list:

  1. Line up thought-provoking tweets and facebook posts (Where do people find all those cool pictures?).
  2. Clean out the last closet, otherwise known as the front hall horror.
  3. Find a good home for the walker I never needed.
  4. Transcribe six interviews.
  5. Update/rewrite/rebrand a whole bunch of materials.
  6. Throw out or donate all the unwanted clothes, shoes and bags.
  7. Line up some new blog posts.
  8. Get together with friends I haven’t seen all summer.

 

What does your September list look like?

How will you work your way through it?

 

 

 

 

Analisa Balares – Woman of the Week

When you meet Analisa Balares, you are drawn to her gentle energy. She’s a small woman, soft-spoken, constantly in motion, and busy making huge things happen in the world. A few years from now, when she’s ensured that women have come into their full power and are running the world, I will not be at all surprised.
This is from the Womensphere website:

Analisa Leonor Balares is an emerging global leader dedicated to unleashing women’s potential, and advancing the evolution of women as leaders and innovators around the world. She is a community builder, social innovator, global entrepreneur, and mentor. For over two decades, she has been committed to women’s leadership development, sustainable development, entrepreneurship, innovation, and education, and has produced, directed, and co-produced over 100 summits, forums, and media on these themes.

In February 2008, Analisa created and launched Womensphere, a unique leadership community and global social enterprise that convenes, mobilizes, and creates platforms for action – uniting individuals, companies, networks, academic institutions, and NGOs, around the shared purpose of unleashing women’s potential and enabling the evolution of women as leaders, innovators and creators in our global society. The Womensphere global leadership community inspires, connects, and empowers women leaders, innovators, entrepreneurs, policymakers, scientists, artists, financiers, and pioneering women across all fields. Since its founding, Womensphere has reached, convened and connected over 3,500 leaders through 22 conferences, forums, and media in the United States and Europe.

I have attended several Womensphere Summits and have met the most incredible, inspiring collection of women, ranging from Caitlin Kelly, the 30-something founder of Africa Volunteer Corps and Jessica Posner, Co-Founder at 25 of Shining Hope for Communities, a non-profit that combats extreme poverty and gender inequality in Kibera – Africa’s largest slum through Angela Jia Kim, founder of Savor the Success, through Linda Cureton,CIO for NASA, Jill Tarter of SETI, and too many others to possibly list.

As Womensphere grows to include opportunities for female CEOs to come together, international events, multiple media initiatives, so too will the visibility of amazing women and the opportunities for them to meet with and learn from each other.

Analisa is a great enabler, a big thinker, and a woman who knows all things are possible. How do you embody these traits in your life and work?

Butterflies, Joy and Change

I’ve seen a few Monarchs floating through Brooklyn this week. If you’re lucky enough to live on the New Jersey shore, you’re likely to see many more flitting by around now. They’re beautiful and I always hold my breath for a second as I watch them.

I’m in the process of emerging from my own chrysalis right now, so I have a lot to learn from butterflies. And they’ve been following me around lately, just to remind me! The lesson of the butterfly, it turns out, is letting go of old behavior and moving on to the next phase.

Moving on is not easy – at least for me. I like to dig in and hold on. I remember reading that for every successful woman you could see the fingernail scratches on the furniture where she’d tried to hang on to the old, and I know that’s true for me. Change doesn’t come easy.

But then I look at how beautiful the butterfly is. Maybe change is worth it. Butterflies float on the breeze; they dance in the air. They don’t cling to the branches or hug the ground. Butterflies always look like they’re having a good time. Can you watch one without smiling? They bring joy. They are joy.

I’m almost ready for my butterfly moment. I’m ready to push out of the shelter of that chrysalis, where I’ve been growing and stretching and absorbing energy over many months. I’ve moved out of a toxic business relationship. I’ve returned to full mobility, thanks to the wonders of hip replacement. I’m ditching my old business model.

Right now, my wings aren’t quite dry and I’m a bit shaky, but I know that is changing. I can’t wait to see what’s next!

Move On!

How often do you make a decision and then second-guess yourself? Some of us over think everything. We make a decision, we’re comfortable with it, we take action. Should be the end of the story, right? Not for everyone.

Sometimes, though, it’s easy to get caught up in the other choices – the road not taken. What if? What if? What if?

It’s time to chase those gremlins off. Here are some questions that might be more productive:

1.What would have stayed the same or gotten worse if I did not make the choice I did? How would I feel about that?

2. How would I feel if I continued along the same path? About myself? Abut other people? About my work?

3. What did I learn from this choice? About myself? My process? Others involved?

4. How will I use what I learned moving forward?

5. What have I gained?

These seem like a good start at letting go and moving on. I’ll be using them myself.